Sunday, November 30, 2003
THE NAWFUL TURKEY AWARDS
What else to do on Thanksgiving weekend but name the NFL's worst.
THE LEON LETT/DWANE RUDD AWARD:
Phillip Buchanan of the Raiders in this years unanimous selection for his helmet removal against Kansas City after a big punt return. "Look at me! I just cost our team a win with a 15 yard penalty!"
THE DR. JECKELL/MR. HYDE or WE FORGOT TO PACK SOMETHING IN OUR SUITCASE AWARD:
This one goes to the 49ers, now 0-6 on the road. The team can seem dominating at home, but seem emotionally dead (especially on the offensive side of the ball).
THE MRP AWARD (MOST REGRESSED PLAYER):
Jeff Garcia. From Pro Bowl quarterback to a passing rating of less than 20 points in today's game.
THE MDT AWARD (MOST DISAPPOINTING TEAM):
Right now, it may be a tie between the aged Oakland Raiders and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
THE MOST LIKELY PERSON TO INJURE A TEAMMATE IN PRACTICE:
You guessed it, Bill Romonowski. He's also involved in the designer steroid scandal, and has an injury which may force his retirement.
THE UGLIEST LOOKING UNIFORM CHANGE:
Miami Dolphins. Have you seen those bright orange jerseys they're wearing at home these days???
THE UGLIEST LOOKING TEAM AWARD:
It doesn't seem right that I can't give to the Bengals who are suddenly better. Joint winners for this award are the Vickless Falcons, the Jaguars, and the Chargers (a team that even a southern California arsonist couldn't light a fire under).
WORST PRESEASON PREDICTION AWARD:
Hands down, my pick of the Chargers as winners of the AFC West.
WORST DISPLAY OF IGNORANCE BY A PROGNOSTICATOR:
This goes to the Senior Bro, who didn't know the meaning of the red flag (a coach throws this to ask for a replay challenge).
WORST PROGNOSTICATING THIS YEAR:
Sorry Ben. You were so close last year, but this year you're way in the cellar. Here's hoping you narrow the gap before the season ends.
Junior Bro 2:05:00 PM
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